Monday, November 8, 2010

Personal Musings - Ego Boosters

I did it!

I finished a novel and it is finally published! In e-book at least. Print copies available hopefully by December 1st but still.

I swear… there is so much to say and I really don’t want to bore anyone with it. So I decided to write this blog, and try not to ramble (too much).

I’ve heard people say a lot of different things about creativity and what it can achieve in your life, but none of it rang true until now, so allow me to give you some insight…

Me: a little over a year ago

I was divorced, dealing with a very nasty custody battle, got to see my daughters an accumulated 12 weeks a year because they lived in another state.
Dating a man who I loved but because of my own struggles personally put a massive strain on our relationship.
Working at a job that while it wasn’t a chosen field, I was good at, but every little thing drove me insane about the injustices of the world.
Felt like an overall failure to be 28 years old and starting over from scratch with very little to show for in almost 3 decades of life.
Did online hobby writing and used the crutch of lacking follow-through and ambition to ever do a book. Allowed people to tell me that the stuff I wrote would never be able to be published because it was child’s play.
Self-esteem was non-existent due to the fact that I allowed myself to be a doormat to most of the people in my life because I was afraid of speaking up for fear of hurting someone’s feelings.

Me: Now

Still divorced but guess who has physical custody of her daughters now? :D
Hopelessly in love with a man who treats me like a princess, and is willing to put up with my neurotic side.
Still working at a job that I am still good at, and yes things still annoy the crap out of me, but I’ve come to terms with it.
Feels like I can take on the world now because guess what? I’m a published author.
Ambition played a very minor role in this process for me personally. It was finally being fed up enough of being told I never will and wanting to shove it in a few peoples faces that hey guess what? I’m published!
Don’t care so much about hurting feelings because I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I claim to be.

So that is my happy dance for this evening… sorry if I rambled! xoxox


  1. Congratulations, Samantha. Seems like you have your life together :) Even though I'm still a young lad, I wish I could say the same.

  2. Trust me it takes time. I could give you all the advice in the world but it wouldn't amount to much in my eyes because at the end of the day what worked for me may not work for others. But hang in there... it'll happen.